Things My Son Should Know After I've Died

THINGS MY SON SHOULD KNOW AFTER I’VE DIED
by Brian Trimboli

I was young once. I dug holes
near a canal and almost drowned.
I filled notebooks with words
as carefully as a hunter loads his shotgun.
I had a father also, and I came second to an addiction.
I spent a summer swallowing seeds
and nothing ever grew in my stomach.
Every woman I kissed,
I kissed as if I loved her.
My left and right hands were rivals.
After I hit puberty, I was kicked out of my parents’ house
at least twice a year. No matter when you receive this
there was music playing now.
Your grandfather isn’t
my father. I chose to do something with my life
that I knew I could fail at.
I spent my whole life walking
and hid such colorful wings.


This poem I've stumbled upon earlier in a forum that I'm a member of. Immediately after reading I was taken by it and I just can't stop thinking of the wide range of interpretation regarding it. So here's what I came up this few hours of contemplation...

I was young once. I dug holes
near a canal and almost drowned.

The father talked about how his childhood. He was telling his son that he's been there and done those things that his boy did and that he too had been a son once. 


I filled notebooks with words
as carefully as a hunter loads his shotgun.

A hunter loads his shotgun to either defend himself or to catch his prey. In these lines, writing in his notebook was compared to loading a shotgun. To me, it is somewhat saying that notebook contains things that explains the father's actions or his persuasions to his son. The word 'carefully' plays an important role in this one because it gives the readers the idea that what contains in the book were not merely explanations but the words there were carefully chosen. The father probably think that his relationship with his son depends on his words in the notebook.


I had a father also, and I came second to an addiction.
I spent a summer swallowing seeds
and nothing ever grew in my stomach.

On this line, he was relating his son's situation to his. The first phrase is somewhat saying that I was a son first then became a father and that you too would become one. For the addiction phrase, I have two interpretation. First - it could be that he almost came to an addiction and my second interpretation is that his father had an addiction that he almost inherited. The second line speaks of how he had defied his parents. We all know those tales that mothers tell about seeds growing into our stomach so that we won't swallow the seeds anymore. In that line, he was saying that he did things that his parents did not approve of but still he came out from it.


Every woman I kissed,
I kissed as if I loved her.

I like this part because in this line it shows that the father is a passionate man. He wanted his son to know that so that he can become one too.

My left and right hands were rivals.

This shows that he too had conflicts within himself. He admits it. 




After I hit puberty, I was kicked out of my parents’ house
at least twice a year. No matter when you receive this
there was music playing now.

 In here, the father tells us that he too had his share of leaving away from home. In those moments, the letters he received from home brought cheers to his face. Music playing in this line means happiness. So whenever he hears from them, he felt happy.


Your grandfather isn’t
my father. I chose to do something with my life
that I knew I could fail at.

On this part, it is like a revelation. It is a secret that he passed to his son in which he was hoping to make a bond with. I think that is why the second line speak of trying to do something even though he knew of failing it. It just means that he's not giving up or losing hope. He is trying to reach out for his son which is different from his real father. He wanted to changed his life from that of his father.

I spent my whole life walking
and hid such colorful wings.

 This line for the last part, I think is perfect for the poem. It somewhat says that the father had always kept his soft side or rather the side of him that he was now opening to his son. It was always there in him but he just hid it from everyone. ^^


I started loving this poem the moment I first read it. I still love it every time I read it. It makes me think and makes me wonder. ^_^